Undecided demise

I look in the mirror:
all I see is dark hollow eyes staring back at me
I see sunken cheeks, the brow pertruding
I see several rib, and the pelvic bone intruding
My dress hangs on my fleshly bones in an offensive manner
No curves, no warmth, no vibrancy of touch
I would beg myself to eat, but the action is even too much
To wearily hold myself upward, I struggle to stay awake
I feel myself grow weary with every breath I take

I find my insides are burning; everything tastes of copper
I lean into my porcelain bowl, and lose all internal power
When I finally catch myself, I think its my final hour
So I turn away from the crimson spit below, and I drew myself a shower
Its when I stand there naked, and feel the heat upon my skin
That suddenly things seem better, and I can being to feel warm within
But just as the thought enters, I am forced upon the floor
To quiver in pain, and vomit once more

What is this sickness? What is this curse?
It feels like I am drowning in delusion
My head is haunted with images of a hearse.

I wrote a will, you see
To bestow upon my family.
A poor woman with nothing to share, take please these dreams
Because each one is filled with care

To my mother, I grant you a hug as I know you cannot embrace
Father, I give you my hand to hold, as I know you need an escape
To my sisters, the one tall and fair: I give you calmness, as I know how your temper can flare
And to the youngest, brilliant and clever...I give you all my strength, as life can be unfair

But just before I cap my pen, I press it to my lips
To the dearest one of all, I give you my last and only kiss
My darling, my love and my life.
I shall miss you when I am gone, and so I give you all that I am
I give you all that I have
And when you wake to find I am gone, know this: You did nothing wrong.
I love you, I love you, I shall always say this
Of all my life, you are the only one I will most dearly miss.

I look in the mirror:
all I see is dark hollow eyes staring back at me
I see sunken cheeks, the brow pertruding
I see several rib, and the pelvic bone intruding
My dress hangs on my fleshly bones in an offensive manner
No curves, no warmth, no vibrancy of touch
I see a light, the one I have missed so much